● SINGLE IN DENVER★ NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES● ONE-OF-A-KIND ITEM★ CALL NOW● CAT-TESTED, MOTHER-APPROVED★ APPLY WITHIN● THIS PROMOTION ENDS WHEN HE GETS A GIRLFRIEND
● SINGLE IN DENVER★ NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES● ONE-OF-A-KIND ITEM★ CALL NOW● CAT-TESTED, MOTHER-APPROVED★ APPLY WITHIN● THIS PROMOTION ENDS WHEN HE GETS A GIRLFRIEND
★ AS SEEN ON HINGE ★Introducing
Introducing
WADE.
A revolutionary new option in the dating marketplace. Thirty-three years old. Single. Denver-based. Fully assembled. Yours to apply for — completely free.
★ NEW ★
FOR
2026
FOR
2026
FREE TO APPLY
REC
PAID PROGRAMMING · DATEWADE.COM
APPLY BELOW →
★ Submit Your Application ★
NO CREDIT CARD · NO COMMITMENT · NO RETURNS
★ MEET THE UNIT ★
So, Who Is Wade?
A brief, third-party overview of the product on offer. Read carefully. There is no replacement available in this make or model.
▸ CLICK TO ROTATE PHOTOS ◂
★ PRODUCT SPECIFICATIONS ★
What You’re Working With
| MODEL | Wade, V.33 |
| MFG. LOCATION | Denver, Colorado |
| OCCUPATION | Founder, startup |
| CO-PILOTS | Mushroom & Pickle, Scottish Fold sisters. Both have strong opinions. |
| HUMOR | Quietly funny. Not the loudest in the room. |
| ENERGY | Homebody by default. Outdoorsy on request. |
| TASTE | Slightly nerdy / alt. Likes weird people. |
| INK | Full Avatar: The Last Airbender sleeve. Yes, that one. |
| WARRANTY | Lifetime, if mutually entered into. |
★ MANUFACTURER’S NOTE ★
“Cool guy. Replies to messages. Owns two cats. Genuinely kind. You could do a lot worse.” — His Mom
★ COMPARE THE COMPETITION ★
Why Settle for Other Men When You Could Have Wade?
An impartial side-by-side comparison. Conducted by a panel of experts. The experts were Wade’s friends.
FEATURE
✗ THE COMPETITIONOther Men
★ NEW & IMPROVEDWade
First text
"wyd"
✓"started a book i can't put down — what's the last one that did that to you?"
Cats
Allergic. Also emotionally.
✓Co-parents Mushroom & Pickle. They run the household; he just lives there.
Plans for Saturday
Will figure it out by 9:43pm.
✓Coffee in the morning. Dinner reservation in the evening. Cat in between.
Replies to messages
When the moon is waxing.
✓Same day, mostly within hours, like a functioning adult.
Career
Crypto, vaguely.
✓Runs a startup. Can explain it without using the word "disrupting".
Outdoors
Posts a single mountain photo once a year. Hasn't read a book since 2019.
✓Will not go on a hike. Refuses, politely. Will take you to dinner instead.
Photos
Fish, sunglasses, group shot you can't identify him in.
✓Scroll up. The cat one is the cat one.
Tattoos
A barbed wire bicep band his uncle gave him in 2008.
✓Full Avatar: The Last Airbender sleeve. Knows every nation by heart.
Verdict
ELSEWHERE
CLEAR WINNER
★ BUT WAIT — THERE’S MORE ★
Bonus Wade Facts
Press the screen for the next one. There’s 8. None are dealbreakers.
★ THE APPLICATION ★
Step Right Up.
One question. Three minutes of your time. Goes directly to Wade’s inbox. He reads every one personally.